Email Signatures: Why you should be more careful.

Email Signatures: Why you should be more careful.

In my job as Chief Executive Officer of nzraw.co.nz, I get a lot of emails.

I’d say on average at least one a week.

Mostly they tell me that my penis is too small but today I received two emails from one person.

It didn’t take too long to realise that the woman that sent them had set an email ‘signature’ that was actually just a line of text, her name, and her address.

Basically her email signature was something very similar to this:

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

An Accountant.
A big accountancy firm.
Accountantsville.

The first email I received from Jane was along the lines of…

Great post on the Auckland Council. You really are attractive. I’m interested in starting a blog.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

So I’m like. Ok. That’s cool. She wants me to contact her to tell her about blogs. I replied to say thanks and told her a bit about WordPress and then received:

Thanks Mark.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

Which is when I realised that her email signature included the above line of text and so, in turn, is quite lame.

Why is it lame? Surely it’s nice to offer to explain things in more detail. To open an opportunity for conversation. Not really. Here are some examples where this line of text doesn’t work:

Email Signature Fail Example 1.

Dear Simon,

I notice that you’ve been taking my lunch. Please don’t do this as my lunch items are clearly labelled with my name.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

Nothing here needs explaining. If everyone took you up on your invite, you’d be forever answering queries.

Email Signature Fail Example 2.

Dear Natalie,

I know you’ve been seeing my husband.

I never want to hear from you again.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

Email Signature Fail Example 3.

Dear Paul,

You’re a dick.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

Email Signature Fail Example 4.

Frank.

I hate you. If my dog had a face like yours, I would shave its butt and teach it to walk backwards. You clearly fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

You **** eating **** **** eunuch **** horse **** **** jack ***.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Jane Smith

The moral of the story; don’t add extra lines of text in your email signature to make it look like you’ve added them to your email body. As you can see, you might find yourself in an awkward situation whereby your friendly throw-away line completely destroys the message of your email.

Please contact me if you have any queries.

Kind Regards,

Mark

  • Awesome blog fella, I can’t believe people can be that stupid, I hope they are reading this, I’m sure they will be sitting there going red with embarrassment, as always your point gets well and truly thumped home!!

  • Ah, a good giggle for a Friday afternoon! For some reason “kind regards” always annoys me. It could be from someone using it in a correspondence of back-stabbing emails earlier in the year. Poor tainted sign-off line.

  • Serena Star Leonard

    Haha that bugs me too, like how hard is it to type “kind regards”? And do you want kind regards every time? I feel a little robbed when I see that their sign off is automated.

    Please contact me if you have any enquiries.

    Kind regards,
    Serena

  • haha I lol’d at your comment.

    Best wishes for Christmas and New Years 2010!

    Warm Regards,
    Mark

  • Thanks Dave! I’m replying to you now, 6 months later, so that you get an email notification about this comment and you’re all like “WTF? When was this from?”.

    Everyone likes receiving email!